MY MOM WENT TO KINDERGARTEN WITH ME.
Embarrassing, right? Yeah, I KNOW.
The story, as it goes, started about a month or so before I was to start Kindergarten. I was SUPER psyched. I'd been to an orientation and as far as I could tell it was just a room full of toys to play with and I had my own cubby hole and mom was going to make me play dough.
(That's right. MAKE ME PLAY DOUGH. It was blue and way softer and better than the store bought play dough. I loved it.)
One evening we're downstairs in the living room and mom was making me try on some clothes.There was this jean skirt.
Mom said "That would have been perfect for Cowboy Day." (Back then pre-schools made you dress up for certain days, I don't know - it was weird.)
She put the skirt on me and because I'm about four years-old I start spinning around. Like a fool I've always had TERRIBLE eye-sight. I have pretty much NO depth perception. I naturally fall right down.
ON MY LEG AND BREAK IT.
Like a boss. As I remember, it was pretty much completely detached and I was lucky to be alive.
My parents hauled me out to the mini-van. This would be like 1993 or so. They probably shouldn't have moved me and just called an ambulance - BUT WHATEVER - it's already broken. I had a full cast on my left leg for what felt like forever.
I didn't bother with crutches because that seemed like a fool's game and I was going to milk this for all it was worth. I would just crawl around everywhere and then slide on my butt down the stairs.
Since I was disabled my mom had to come to Kindergarten with me and haul me around so I wasn't a burden on the teacher who already had a bunch of crazies to herd. I loved it! My mom was then, and is now, the coolest. I was all "Oh what's that, Jessica? You miss your mom? Kindergarten is tough, right? MOM, BRING ME MY PLAY DOUGH."
I had it ALL figured out.
Except she kind of became a teacher assistant would eventually pay attention to the other kids, as well.
NOT COOL, MOM.
My leg is broken. I don't care if Justin seems like he has a poor home-life. My leg is BROKEN.
Eventually the cast came off and Mom couldn't go to school with me anymore and luckily kindergartners think moms are cool. It's only embarrassing in retrospect.
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